Baseball Takes a Backseat to Life

Posted By on October 31, 2023

What a day it has been. Cold weather, no games, and snow, lots of it. I haven’t watched a single inning of the World Series. I am pulling for the Rangers simply because they have a few former Dodgers on the team, and I dislike Arizona immensely.

I lived in Phoenix for about 12 years. I moved there to be close to my daughter and my grandkids. I also went there because it is home to many trucking companies, and that was my profession at the time. I always followed my Dodgers, and I went to a few spring games at Camelback Ranch once they moved there from Vero.

I got to see Manny and Kersh, and many others. I met Rick Monday and had a nice little chat with him on a lazy Sunday afternoon about 2 weeks before the 2009 season began. When I first moved there, I drove for a company out of California and hauled loads between Arizona and California. They did some runs up to San Jose and even a few down to San Diego. But most of the work involved loads between Long Beach and Phoenix.

It was nice being close to the kids as they grew up. I tried my best to be the best grandparent I could. There was a pool at my apartment, and they would come over to BBQ and swim. As they grew older, I took on jobs that had me on the road a little more, but I was always home around the holidays.

Finally, the last two years I lived in Phoenix, I once again started driving long haul. I liked the freedom of not having someone look over my shoulder all the time. And I love seeing the US from the cab of a big rig. I had my Sirrus radio so I could listen to the Dodger games while out of state. So, I did not miss anything.

But the road finally began to wear me down, and it took longer to recover from three weeks out on the road. When I turned 62, I decided since the grandkids were now graduating from high school and really wanting to do what teens do, I would start doing more for me. Being single, I could do that. So, in November of 2010, I pulled the pin and said that’s it.

I moved to Colorado because I had several friends who live here. We got a little band together and played when we could. But the Dodgers were my summertime retreat from the everyday things we do. Being retired, I spent a lot of time fishing, or just heading up to the mountains to take in what nature offers.

But the summer nights were spent watching the games. A few times I would travel up to Denver, visit my son, and go to a game at Coors Field when the Dodgers were in town. Those we fun days and I got to see some pretty good baseball. I also so far have a spotless record at Coors. Every time I have gone, the Dodgers have won.

The team has been good, and I love watching them play. This year was very satisfying since they were not expected to win the division. 100 games? Preposterous. Never had a chance to do that with the Padres as loaded as they were. But the boys in blue surprised the hell out of everyone and did what no one thought they could do.

Oh, there were ups and downs, the injuries they had to overcome were unreal. Every single one of the starting pitchers they came out of spring training with, spent time on the IL. Then a double blow when May and Gonsolin both had to undergo surgery. Gonzo is gone for next season and May is not expected back until July at least and most likely, he won’t be in the starting rotation.

So, it seems there will be some serious roster turn over for the 24 season. As soon as next week, that will begin to happen when the players can declare for free agency, players will be non-tendered, and when the winter meetings roll around in December, some trades will be made. Just how aggressive Freidman is remains to be seen. I have been looking forward to all of this.

And then last night, life happened. Family is important to all of us. My children have been a bright spot in mine. I have tried to be there for them and give advice when needed. I have always had their back. But how do you help someone grieve? Their mom passed yesterday at 6 pm. She was 75 years old. We were 20 and I was in the Army when we married. We spent a little over a year at Ft. Bliss and then I was assigned to Germany. She was pregnant with our oldest and could not travel with me. My daughter was four months old before I saw her.

She was a great mom; she knew I had odd hours and had to spend time on the mountain maintaining our radars for our missile unit. She never complained, not once. It is not easy being a dependent in a foreign country. She had no license, so she had to do all of the shopping when I was off duty.

We did get to travel some and see parts of Europe. We went to the Netherlands and Belgium. One of my favorite trips we went to Berchtesgaden and then down into Innsbruck Austria. Beautiful city at the bottom of a huge mountain range. A river runs right through the middle of town. Berchtesgaden was so interesting because it was the place where you had to be a card-carrying Nazi to live. The hotel there for GI’s was the old SS barracks.

We went to where Hitler’s house used to be. The allied bombers really did a job on the place. Just craters there now. But being a history buff, I loved it. She was just happy to go somewhere other than our apartment.

Like many marriages these days, we ended up getting divorced. I can’t even remember what the problem was, but we couldn’t overcome it. I lived in the South Bay mostly, and she moved up near her parents in Lake Isabella. I did not see my kids for a lot of years. I did not want to upset them, and me and their grandpa were not on the best of terms.

But that stuff is on me. She did a wonderful job raising them on her own. After her dad passed away, she wanted me to reconnect with my kids and I did. Things were much better after that. But the distance between us and my work did not allow me a lot of time.

But now, their mom is gone, and they have turned to me to try and deal with the pain of losing someone you love. I am not the best person to put in that position, but they are my kids, and I will do what I can. For the most part, I have tried to not let the passing of people in my life send me into a depression.

We all deal with loss differently, and in my case, I usually take the hard line and do not show grief to family and friends. Probably not the best way to deal with it, but it has worked for me. When my son lost his boy, I had a hard time feeling any grief for a child I had never even seen. My concern was more for my son’s mental health.

Maybe I am just a cold individual, I do not know. But right now, I cannot be that way. I have to give my family my best. Baseball will be something I will look forward to after all of this is past. I won’t be watching the games; I just really could not get any enjoyment out of them. Life has interceded. It always does.

This article has 59 Comments

  1. My deepest sympathies and condolences to you, your children and your immediate family Bear. Reading your story brought a tear to my eye, and I can tell you’re a good man.
    Godspeed

      1. Oso reciba usted y su familia mi más sentido pésame, me solidarizo con ustedes en su pena que espero pronto sea superada, piense usted que posiblemente ella ya está en la gracia de Dios. Un Abrazo sincero y humilde.

  2. Not everyone can say, “I know how you feel,” but I have an idea because I was married twice before my current 27-year marriage. My first wife should have died, but the second one did, at age 37 (brain cancer). My first wife, however, kept me and my daughter estranged for 26 years. It was then that she figured out her mother was not telling her the truth. Now, we are closer than ever (she is 42) and have a great relationship. Her relationship with her mother is pretty much gone. Kids figure out the truth, and I still will not say a harsh word about her mother. She appreciates that (even though she says plenty).

    My middle son was 9-years-old old when his mother died, and he just turned 37 last week. He still has not gotten over it! His grief is still playing out. I have spent a lot of money with therapists, and so has he, but his grief hangs on. I can’t fix it, and he will not talk about it. Not to me or his other two siblings. However, all three (3 different mothers) are very close.

    When I re-married, he asked my wife if he had to call her “Mom” and she told him no. He never has, but for the first time, EVER, on his birthday, he called her and said, “I Love You!” The first time! He has been my difficult kid… and still is, but he knows he is loved.

    It’s a process, Bear. I have an idea how you feel, but I also know that everyone is different. You have to deal with it in the best way for you and your kids. When my father died, I missed a half day of work – that’s all! Why? That’s what he would have wanted! When my mother died of Alzheimer’s nine years later, my wife said, “You did not even cry at your mother’s funeral.” I replied, “I lost her an inch at a time over the last six years! The crying is over, and she is in a better place.”

    Take your time, Bear. Cherish it! Kids are a blessing. As you know, I have six granddaughters, but my youngest son called me Saturday and said, “Dad, you finally have a boy on the way! He will be here in April!” Life goes on…

    Godspeed, Bear!

    1. It’s worth the risk of extending him a Q.O.

      Ohtani is mentioned as a reason not to but you jump off that bridge when you have to.

      If Ohtani is such a freak, why can’t he play LF?

    2. Good article on JDM. Thanks for the link, Mark.
      Fabian, the reporter, thinks that JDM would decline the QO of $20.5 million, and seek a multi-year deal for more money. However, Jim Bowden recently forecast JDM to sign for a 1 year $12 million contract.
      Bowden also forecast the top 40 free agent contracts. Some interesting predictions were:
      Ohtani – $477 million for 10 years plus escalators.
      Yamamoto – $211 million for 7 years.
      Montgomery, Nola, and Snell – All around $125 million for 5 years.
      Sonny Gray – $64 million for 3 years.
      Seth Lugo – $20 million for 2 years.
      Matt Chapman- $127 for 6 years.
      JDM – $12 million for one year.
      Justin Turner – $12 million for one year.
      Candelario – $15 million for 2 years.
      Pham – $7 million for one year.

      At Bowden’s estimate of $12 million for JDM I would resign him, but not above $20 million per year like Fabian predicts.
      Many other DH options can be signed like Turner, Pham, Candelario, or just retain Muncy/Smith as DH. And that assumes you aren’t signing Ohtani.

      1. RC interesting umbers there.

        I would bite your hand off for 5 years of Snell st $125 . Absolute steal.

        I’d be interested in Matt Chapman at those numbers too.

        Hard pass on Ohtani though. That has Boat Anchor written all over it.

        After the “Transitional Year”
        we are in a great position to add talent through Free Agency, especially as most of our young starters gained lots of invaluable experience in 23.

        It’s very hard to stay competitive every season, whilst picking from
        the bottom of the draft every year.
        It’s taken me a while to see AF’s MO but player development is a big thing for him.

        He has done a great job of keeping us competitive every year, whilst not gutting the farm, and adding in our own youngsters as required.

        Interested off season ahead.

        1. I would not tie up Chapman’s salary that long. Jake Gelof is three years away… maybe only two.

          What you say about AF is so true, but most fans’ do not comprehend it.

      2. I think Candelario will get 3 or 4 years at double that or more.

        If Yamamoto gets that, then that’s really silly.

        I think JDM will get $18 to $20 Million. I would extend the QO to him, knowing I could trade him after May!

    3. If the Dodgers don’t land Ohtani, Candelario could make sense, with Max moving to DH.
      Chapman is the better player, but the Dodgers could take the money they save and spend it on pitching.
      In addition to Yamamoto, Japan could be sending a lefty named Shotu. He’s a mid-rotation type, but the Dodgers may want a lefty.
      A lot of eally interesting personnel decisions ahead.
      Why, it could be a transition year!

  4. On yesterday’s trade proposal:

    1. I am not giving up on Cartaya, Busch, or Vargas. Progress is not linear, but you have to give up a lot to get a lot.

    2. To get Burnes, you are going to have to take Yelich. I don’t think the deal gets done without it. Yelich has a weak arm, but his overall defense is very good, and his speed is still there – he stole 28 bases. If the Brewers want to re-build, you have to take Yelich in the trade. I could see the last year or two of the deal being bad, but I think Yelich will play at a high level for a while.

    3. You also have to factor in that RVS could have a big impact on Adames and/or Yelich. RVS does not work with all hitters, but he does some phenomenal things for others.

    4. Yelich had two bad years after his MVP-TYPE Seasons, but he never sank close to the level Cody Bellinger did.
    https://www.baseball-reference.com/players/y/yelicch01.shtml

    That said, the Dodgers are openly saying that they want Mookie to play more 2B (not SS) this year, so I think a re-union with Jason Heyward is in the cards.

    1. There’s Rushing so no need for Cartaya.

      If Betts is going to play 2B then Busch and Vargas will get squeezed. No way they will send either to the outfield. Deluca is a natural outfielder all he needs is a platoon partner not named Vargas or Busch.

      Might as well trade 2 of them and my choice is Cartaya and Vargas. Those 2 will land a top shelf starting pitcher and an add on. Either in a direct trade or 3 way. At the least you can have Busch on the bench for pinch hitting power and utility infielder.

      1. Everyone is asking about Cartaya and Vargas – they get one or the other… not both and I do think Vargas or Busch might play LF… or 3B. It depends…

        Also, Rushing is a candidate to change positions.

        1. Rushing is the key in the near future to get Smith a lot of time off from behind the plate and DHing. Not full time DHing but a lot.

          1. There is talk within the organization of moving him to 3B or LF – He can already play 1B.

  6. Bear –

    My sympathies to you and your family. The death of someone who has been important to us in life is always a challenge. But, it sounds as though you have lived your life overcoming the challenges life has placed along your pathway. I look back on my 77 years and feel good that I have been able to do the same – that is “old school guys” do! And there seem to be many of those on LADT!!

    I regularly learn something I didn’t know from your comments on baseball – hope you continue to contribute.

  7. My condolences to you and your family, Bear.
    I appreciate you sharing your family history with us, and indeed life is much more important than baseball. Still, you manage to inform us and entertain us regularly with your baseball knowledge and opinions. Your articles are a gift to me and the readers of these blogs.
    Thanks for your many contributions.
    Take time to grieve and care for your family. I look forward to hearing from you again as we prepare for the 2024 Dodger season.

    1. Much appreciated RC. I have every intention of continuing to contribute what I can. Looking forward to 2024. I have been watching games from 21 22 and 23 on MLB.TV. I watched Scherzer’s game from the 12th of September in 21 when he reached 3000 K’s and threw 7 1/3 innings of perfect baseball. Love the history, love the team, and I love writing for this site and Jeff’s.

  8. I like your proposed trade, Mark. You’re right, to get Burnes, the Dodgers will need to take Yelich and he’s still a good player with speed.

    Harris, LA Times, said the Dodgers are “cautiously optimistic” they will be able to sign Ohtani.

    Take care, Bear.

      1. As a former reporter of 14 years, you’d be amazed Mark by what people are willing to share.

        These meetings are not done in a bubble, plenty of people in the room including scouts and other officials within the organization. People like to talk off the record.

        It’s not coming from Friedman or his second or Stan Kasten.

        That doesn’t mean the the information isn’t valid.

        The Times writers and I’ve known many of them are very good at what they do.

        Developing sources is an art.

        Harris, no doubt, has good sources.

        Is it really hard to believe the Dodgers like their chances of signing Ohtani?

  10. MLBTR put out their list of players likely to be non-tendered. Always interesting. Only two Dodgers on the list, Almonte and Yarbrough. They also think the Dodgers might give Martinez a QO, I do not agree with that. Verdugo back to the Dodgers has also been discussed on that site. I don’t see that happening either.

    1. I too think that Almonte and Yarbrough will not be tendered.

      1. Almonte is not all that; and
      2. Yarbrough is not happy as a longman – he wants to start. He won’t start in LA.

  11. Question: Why would Milwaukee trade Burnes when Woodruff is gone for the season next year? Unless they go into what some would consider a re-build mode, I just do not see that happening.

    1. I think they have to rebuild. They will have to tank for a couple of years draft low and hoard prospects to remain competitive. Adamas is leaving and Woodruff is gone. They traded Hader and they just need to knock it down for a couple of years… not like what Houston did.

      Now, here’s the real question: Will AF try and do a deal like this? I think so but in what form, I have no clue.

  12. Condolences Bear. Very cathartic experience writing about your ex wife and the kids.

    Wishing you and your family the best during this very difficult time.

    Keep up the great work.

      1. Sorry to hear the sad news Michael.

        Very difficult when a big part of your life passes on.

        Thanks for a really touching read, and cheers for sharing.

          1. Me too Michael – that was a great day.

            By the way, what’s happened to Patch – haven’t seen him around these parts in a long time?

  13. Bear, I am so sorry to hear about you and your children’s loss. I am praying for you and your children. May the Lord be with you all during your grieving process.

    Frank Howard has passed away. I am praying for his family also.

    1. Thanks Hodges. Big Frank was one of my favorite Dodgers back in the day. I was pretty upset when they traded him to DC. I also loved it that Danny Kaye mentioned him so prominently in his song D.O.D.G.E.R.S. Here comes big Frank Howard yes sir ree, boy what a swing, strike three. Classic.

  16. Haters of the bullpen game may be gloating RN.
    Going to Castro this early to pitch for the second day in a row was questionable.

  18. Random thought: if Dodgers are trying to trim some fat so they can target high-end talent like Ohtani or Yamamoto, who could go and help offset costs?

    Muncy
    Taylor
    Barnes

    Not much else

      1. The Dodgers are in a position to spend $100 million and more if they have to.

        Barnes is only $3.5 Million so that’s no big deal. If the Dodgers improve at other spots they can keep him.

        Taylor can be moved in the right trade and so can Muncy (if needed). However, depending upon whom they can trade with, Muncy is a valuable piece.

  19. Sorry to hear about your loss, Bear. Thank you for the writing that you (and Mark) do for LADT. May you find comfort and peace of mind in the days and weeks ahead.
    Mark, congratulations on the news about a grandson on the way. Exciting time for your family.

  22. Condolences, Bear. I’m sure your children appreciatd your support.
    As it happened, I read your post shortly before I received a call from a guy who has been my best friend since we we met in a summer school class at age 15. We were college roommates for two years, went into the same field and were roommates again in our 20s for a time.
    Anyway, H was calling to let me know that his wife of some 36 years had died. I was in their wedding, and their life together produced two sons and a good measure of happiness for about 25 years until things went sideways. A lot of reasons, including their desire to help H’s mentally ill brother get his life together–efforts that ultimately led to the brother threatening their lives, requiring his incarceration for a time. His wife’s professional setback added to the struggles, as well as the mental illness of their elder son, the Harvard grad.
    Anyway, Bear and H have reminded me today of how we all have our trials and tribulations. When I feel sorry for myself, I sometimes stop and realize that I’ve been so much more fortunate than many close friends. it’s a good thing to remember that, and to try to be kind.

  23. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family, Bear during these tough emotional times. You will find the inner strength to support the family’s needs and get through this.God bless you and your loved ones.

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