Baseball is a Funny Game

Posted By on September 23, 2020

I have had over the years many favorite comedians. Red Skelton, Robin Williams, Richard Prior, George Carlin, just to name a few. But there have been some people connected to baseball who I found to be very funny also.

Probably the first I remember was Joe Garagiola. As most of us know, Joe played for the Cardinals and Pirates. He was a decent catcher, but not as good as his neighbor, Yogi Berra.

Joe first came to my attention when he was broadcasting baseball. He was a great story teller, and had so many great stories of his playing days. One he told was about what goes on when there is a meeting on the mound. Lefty Gomez, the Yankee great, was in a bases loaded fix, Frank Crosetti, the Yanks SS, came over and said C’mon Lefty, bear down, the bases are loaded. Gomez replied, I know they’re loaded. Did ya think I thought they gave me an extra infield?

Stuff like that is classic, and something most fans never hear about. Another time, Jocko Conlan was behind the plate. Danny Murtaugh, who was the hitter, worked the count to 3-2. The next pitch was about eye level and Conlan called it a strike. 

Murtaugh barks at Conlon a little and gets the old heave ho. So Danny stops and says to Conlon, Jocko. just look around the infield. Musial, a Pole, at first base, Schoendienst, a Dutchman, at second base, Marion, I don’t even know what he is, and Kurowski, another Pole at third, Pollet, a Frenchman pitching, and look behind the plate, Garagiola, a spaghetti bender. There are only two Irishmen on this field, and you want to throw half of us out! Conlon let him stay in the game.

Garagiola was also good at self-depreciation. “Each year I do not play, I get better. The first year on the banquet trail, I was a former ballplayer. The second year, I was great, the third year one of baseball’s stars, and just last year, I was introduced as one of baseball’s immortals. The older I get, the more I realize that the worst break I had was playing.”

Yogi was also one of the funnier men in the game. His malaprops are classic. But he was also a great hitter, and he is in the Hall for good reason. If I remember right, he is still the record holder for the most World Series appearances.

Some of his best, ” no one goes there anymore, it is too crowded, ninety percent of this game is half mental.  Little league is a good thing, it keeps the parents off of the street. third ain’t so bad if nothing is hit at you”, Think? how the hell are you going to think and hit at the same time?

Yep, Yogi was a classic. So was Casey Stengel. Casey once said to Mickey Mantle, ” sure I played, did you think I was born at age 70 sitting in a dugout and trying to manage guys like you? ”  And one of my personal favorites, after the Mets had won the 69 series, ” they came up slow, but fast.”

Casey once doffed his cap and a bird flew out. He repeated that scene many years later when he was managing. Casey lived out in Glendale. One of the many people in baseball I wish I could have talked to.

And then there was Uecker. If there are funnier people who make as much fun of themselves as Uecker, I have never seen them. When he was released from the Braves, he said they broke it to him gently. ” the manager came up to me and said, we do not allow visitors in the clubhouse”…Pretty gentle.

I also loved his comment, ” the best way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling, and then pick it up. Bob did commercials, and even a TV series called, ” Mr. Belvedere.

And who could ever forget his turn as Harry Doyle in the Major League movies. ” Just a bit outside”  Haywood leads the league in nose hairs” and my favorite, ” he’ll need a rocket up his ass to catch that one, that baby’s outa here.”

Yes, Uecker is a national treasure. He still does Brewer games. Uecker is in the Hall, elected when he received the Ford Frick award. In fact Ueck, Yogi and Joe are all in the hall. And deservedly so.

But there were guys who were not talented players, but made a living performing their routines before so many thousands of fans at ball parks all around the country.

Max Patkin, who was in the movie, Bull Durham, was known as the Clown Prince of baseball. Max hurt his arm and that curtailed his pro career, so he joined the Navy during WWII.

He was pitching in Hawaii in a service game, and he gave up a homer to Joe DiMaggio, in mock anger, Patkin threw down his glove and followed Joe D around the bases. The crowd loved it, and a career was born.

He was hired as a coach for the Indians by Bill Veeck. When Veeck sold the Indians, Patkin began barnstorming all across the US and Canada in minor league parks. He could easily make many shapes with his face, which some thought was made of rubber.

He was tall and skinny, and always wore a baggy uniform with a question mark on the back instead of a number, and his cap was always askew. Patkin estimated he made more than 4000 appearances. On July 20, 1969 he played to a crowd of 4 in Great Falls Montana. Most of the fans were home watching Apollo 11’s moon landing. Between 1944, and 1993, he never missed an appearance.

Al Schacht was another. Schacht actually made it to the majors as a pitcher, but he hurt his arm, and his career was over. He had an uncanny ability to mimic other players. He would wear a battered top hat and tails. Sometimes he would wield a catcher’s mitt that weighed 25 pounds, so big you could fit a full meal in it. He once ate a meal off of home plate.

Schacht was the first Clown Prince of Baseball. He once said, I came into this world very homely, and I haven’t changed a bit since. He was born in Nov of 1892 on the site where Yankee Stadium would eventually stand.

Some of the best quotes from ball players, ” I never threw an illegal pitch, trouble is once in a while I toss one that ain’t never been seen by this generation…Satchel Paige….” the way to make coaches think you are in shape in the spring is to get a tan….Whitey Ford… I never took the game home with me, I always left it in some bar…Bob Lemon.

And former president Gerald Ford had this one, ” I always watch baseball on the radio”. Dick Allen, ” If a horse won’t eat it, I ain’t playing on it. George Will contributed this beauty, “All I remember about my wedding day is that the Cubs lost a double header.”

Charlie Lau, a pretty good hitting coach once opined,” There are two theories on hitting a knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither one of them works”. Actor Humphrey Bogart even had one. ” A hot dog at the game beats a roast beef at the Ritz.”

Another from the indomitable Yogi, “Slump, I ain’t in no slump….I just ain’t hitting”. ” A man once told me I should walk with the Lord; I would rather walk with the bases loaded”…Ken Singleton.

Steve Garvey, who was not really a funny guy had this one ” Lasorda’s standard reply when some new kid would ask directions to the whirlpool was to tell him to stick his foot in a toilet and flush it”. Pure Tommy. Yogi again” So I’m ugly, So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face.”

And our own favorite, Pedro Guererro who once said before every pitch he would pray they didn’t hit the ball to him, and then ask the same for Steve Sax.

Another favorite came from George Will. ” Baseball it is said, is only a game. True, and the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona.” Just a few of the classics. Humor is one of the things that keeps most of us sane.

Jay Johnstone was another character. Jay was famous for his pranks pulled on teammates, and for tormenting Lasorda. He had a #2 Jersey that read Lasagna. He would pretend to make a pitching change and walk out to the mound holding a can of Slim Fast and Tommy’s book.

He locked Lasorda in his room during spring training by tying a rope to a tree outside of Tommy’s door, and removing the speaker from his phone so that no one could hear him. He also stuck a soggy brownie in Steve Garvey’s glove. And he was the master of the hot foot. He also one time took down all of Lasorda’s photos of celebrities that were in his office, and replaced them with pictures of himself, Don Stanhouse, and Jerry Ruess. He did like to keep things loose in the clubhouse, hence his nickname, Moon Man.

I love these kinds of quotes and players. They make the game a lot more fun to watch. Babe Herman once tripled into a double play. Kike and his banana suit. Watching players have fun, makes the game fun.

A few years ago, the Dodgers had a bubble machine in the  dugout, which they would activate when a player hit a homer. MLB told them to get it out of the dugout, but you still saw bubbles after every homer at Dodger Stadium the rest of that season.

Some of us remember Jimmy Piersall well. Jimmy had some well documented mental problems. But he was a very talented ball player. His problems had been portrayed in the movie, “Fear Strikes Out” Based on the book of the same name.

In 1963, Piersall was playing for the Mets, and was a teammate of Duke Snider. Duke hit his 400th homer on June 14, 1963. My 15th birthday. Piersall told Snider that he was going to get more ink when he hit his 100th than Snider got for # 400. Sure enough, a few weeks later Piersall hit # 100. And ran around the bases backwards.

Photos of that still exist. Those are the moments that make this game so great. You do not have to be a superstar to be entertaining. I remember Super Dave Osborne trying a stunt where he was going to stand in front of the plate and take a Dwight Gooden fastball to his cup. I am sure He really regretted that decision.

This article has 81 Comments

  1. Bear, no funny Kirk Gibson moments? Next you need to do a no fun list! Johnstone and Ruess were quite the combo! And Lasorda was the perfect foil!

    1. I doubt Kirk had a sense of humor during the season. Just look how he reacted to the boot black on his cap. The list of intense players would be pretty long.

  2. And now we know what’s been wrong with a Joc. They’re platooning him against the wrong pitchers! He should only be hitting against lefties! Recheck those analytics guys!

    1. He was 0-6 this year against lefties – that make him 1-7 and raised his career BA against LHP to .181 in 382 Plate Appearances.

      1. It was a joke Mark! Unless they start throwing underhand to Joc it’s a lost year for him. Does Joc make the playoff roster? Hard to make a case for him right now

  3. I remember most of that. Funniest baseball books I have read:

    Bob Uecker’s Catcher in the Wry
    Jim Bouton’s Ball Four
    Jay Johnstone’s Temporary Insanity

    Funny stuff – We can use that right about now!

  4. Years ago I watched a show with Garagiola, Bench, Berra and a catcher from Boston, cannot remember his name. I never laughed so hard. The moderator started to asked a question and I do not think he asked another question. They just told one story after another. The one I remember was told by Berra. Whitey Ford was pitching. First pitch of the game the batter got a single. Second pitch, another single. Third pitch Whitey hit the batter. Bases are now loaded and Whitey threw three pitches. Casey Stengel comes to the mound for a meeting. He asked Berra if Whitey did not have it today. Berra replied, “how in the hell would I know, I have not caught a pitch yet”.

    1. That story made me almost choke on my coffee, Al, because I laughed so hard. Wish you had a link to that show, it would be great to see it.

  5. Made me laugh this morning Bear, thanks!
    Thoughts from last night
    Belli looking much better at the plate. Knees a little more bent, athletic stance, and looked like about 6” off the plate.
    Mad Max looks a little chunky, a drop of 15 lbs would do wonders just ask Pollock.
    CT3 is playing in a whole new zone. MVP? Plays every position and amazing bat to ball right now.
    May is going to be one of the best pitchers in baseball if he develops a controllable change pitch. I think 5 innings is all we can expect this year. Off season conditioning and he can easily bump that to 7.
    Mookie just makes things happen. So much fun to watch him play.
    I am not so concerned with the playoffs considering how well we did against the A’s and Padres.
    Considering at the beginning of the season we are fast approaching the end. I’m glad we made it.
    Now let’s go get a World Series trophy!

    1. The hitter was Kurt Bevaqua of the Padres. He had beaten the Dodgers with a bloop hit the day before. His comments about Dave Kingman after he hit 3 homers against the Dodgers were pretty classic also, but X rated.

    1. That is so sad. If you have ever been in the Dominican, you often see families on a scooter… sometimes 3-5 people. Odds are it was a family and that is very sad!

  8. Thank you, Bear, for that great article. So far, one of my favorites from you. I loved the antics of Jay Johnstone, Jerry Reuss, along with Mickey Hatcher and enjoyed reading about others like Danny Murtaugh whose comments to Jocko Conlan were hilarious . And what could you say about Bob Uecker that has not been said. One of the funniest men I have ever read about. I remember standing in line at a mall years ago to buy Jay Johnstone’s book, “Temporary Insanity” and have him sign it. I still have the book.

    1. Thank you DBM. Jay was the player I had my photo taken with then I sang the anthem at Dodger Stadium. I bought that book when it first came out. Jay actually has written two others that are very rare and hard to find. “Over the Edge”, and ” Some of My Best Friends Are Crazy” He also at one time hosted a TV show that was on before the Game of the Week, where they played practical jokes on players. One time they had a player come up to his hotel room and his suitcase was on the bed. When he went to open it, one of his team mates popped out of the suitcase and almost gave the guy a heart attack. They still show Mickey Hatcher running the bases and falling down coming around third and basically crawling to the plate and collapsing at the plate, on the Stadium big screen. Johnstone and Ruess once dragged the infield between innings, and Jay was spotted at a concession stand at Dodger Stadium in full uniform ordering a hot dog. Classic stuff. The kind of thing you rarely see in baseball anymore. Another one was Rick Dempsey running the bases on the tarp during a rain delay, and sliding home. Oh, the Hatcher film is on youtube.

  9. Per Caleb Ferguson after his TJ surgery:

    Surgery was successful this AM and I am doing good. Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers as they didn’t go unnoticed. I’ll be watching the boys bring that championship to LA. Road to 2022 starts now!

  10. Thank you AC for the update on Caleb Ferguson. Glad and relieved to hear the surgery was successful and hope and pray for a speedy recovery for him. Can’ t wait to see you on the mound again, Caleb.

  11. AJ Pollock last night “It’s really strange.. we’re on the field and he crowd is going nuts and you’re looking at each other and you’re like, ‘wait a second, we’re the only ones here.’ It was bizarre, but it’s still special”

    Comedy

  12. I remember Pedro Guerrero’s famous line. When Im in the field I’m praying two things. Please God don’t let them hit it to me and then don’t let them hit it to Sax! Ouch!

    1. I quoted that in the story. Pedro has told that many times. And I have little doubt he did just that. He was a much better 1st baseman than he was at 3rd.

  13. Eight in a row, next year the Dodgers have a chance to tie the Yankees for second place with nine in a row, very nice.

    2. I do not care if they tie the Yanks or not, I want to see that Championship banner in LA. Nothing else matters.

  14. “Dustin May went five innings and allowed two runs on three hits. The 22-year-old righty set a team record by not allowing more than three earned runs in any of his first 13 career starts, which includes 10 this season.”

    Even though he has only thrown like 5ip per start, this is still pretty impressive. I actually watched the ESPN feed of the game last night. Rick Sutcliffe had some interesting perspective on May’s pitching. He said when he starts pitching, and not throwing as hard as he can on many of his pitches, when he pitches and let’s the natural movement of his pitches happen, he’ll get a lot more strikeouts. I’m sure that comes with experience. And when he starts lifting weights and getting stronger, he’ll be able to have better numbers after pitch #50.

    For all the talk of the Padres young pitchers, I cannot wait to see the expected improvement from May Urias Gonsolin next season. We have a GREAT 3/4/5 behind Buehler and Kersh (and David Price, wherever he fits in)

    1. When Price comes back next year, he will be the 3 behind Kersh and Buehler. The other guys are going to fight it out for 4-5.

  15. Congrats to the Dodgers on their 8th concecutive division title. Well done. Is Corey Seager the most successful hitter on this team? Yes, I think so.

    Philjones, I am sorry, I left the blog to watch the game and by the time I got back the comments were closed, so could not respond to you. Regarding your information on Umpire training, it was very helpful and I thank you for it.

    Sounds like the minor leagues, low pay, lots of travel as they work to advance. Glad to hear they have a school in Florida for them. I am surprised JoeWest and Angel Hernandez to name a few, did not flunk out if they attended it.

    1. Thanks DBM. I’m glad you got to read it. Yeah, I mentioned I watch Angel Hernandez do the White Sox – Indians game behind the plate. He was all over the place. 2 pitches in the same location, one a ball the next a strike. There was so much complaining right from the start that I predicted somebody would get thrown out. Sure enough, it took until the 10 inning but he ran start Tim Anderson and Manager Ricky Renteria. How could you like your job when ever 4 day behind the dish, you’re a pinata. How he keeps his job mystifies me. And for 29 years. Joe West will retire probably when he breaks Bill Klem’s all-time record for games. He’s close. Hopefully it won’t matter next season with the ABS.

      1. And did not Joe West dislike Tommy Lasorda? Always felt he made bad calls against the Dodgers because of that. Even though if we get the. Automated Balls and Strike equipment, he still can call safe or out at home and other decisions. Baseball will be better off without him when he retires in my opinion.

        1. West is for Joe West and nothing else. His country music career such as it is is strictly because he is an umpire. He has longevity and seniority and being a crew chief, he can pretty much do as he pleases. Umps impact the game in many ways, and even with the electronic zones, they still will be making the calls. Luckily, we can use replay to reverse the worst calls.

          1. I mention this before about Joe West but it bares a repeat. This winter I was watching a 1976 game with Jim Palmer pitching. In those days absolutely no pitcher actually paused in the stretch. It was just a direction change. So at a critical spot with a runner on 1st, there’s a balk called. They were never called. It was called by the new rookie umpire, you guessed it, Joe West. Over the next 40 years he’s only become more contemptible, vindictive and annoying. You should actually never notice a good umpire. Joe makes you notice him every time out.

  16. Congrats on winning 8 in a row. That is an impressive feat.
    There’s talk about Muncy and/or Joc not making the post season roster. I think both will be on the 28 man roster, kind of by default. For an organization rich in talent, we haven’t seen and played any young talent in 55 games to have them ready to take over Muncy’s or Joc’s spots on the roster. And I’m okay with that. I lobbied all along for a permanent group of players and not a revolving door with USC. I like predictably to prepare for the playoffs. I just would prefer them in more stable position in the field and in the batting order but that’s a conversation for another time.
    Ruiz would be a thought but he has played in 2 games. I like McKinstry but he has 4 games. I see 2 position guys on the bubble; Lux who is no help at all in the playoffs in any role and Joc who will make it but should never be in the lineup. (Belli at 1st complicates that)He’s a pinch hitter only against a righty and hope he might run into one. It’s Pollock’s job. The prospect at USC are all working for next year. If Wood doesn’t make the roster and we carry 14 pitches that may leave a position spot for a youngster. But with all the emphasis in openers and short outings expected for the starters ( everyone but CK and Buehler) the bullpen will get the bulk of the innings.
    So folks can speculate and cry over Joc’s and Muncy but I don’t see them going anywhere.
    * May had unusually poor command of his fastball all night. I kept waiting for him to find it. On the baseball he was just out of sync. His posture (spine angle) was lost prior to foot strike and his balance suffered at release. Couldn’t find a consistent release point. So, he and Will adjusted and when to the breaking balls where his posture and balance were better. It got him through. Nice to see him battle and be successful without his best stuff. I love the kid and he grows every outing. I wanted him to throw another inning but they obviously wanted to see some relievers in spots they may have in the playoffs. Like Kelly facing one batter and doing his best Sergio Romo impression again. I’m beginning to think he fears killing somebody if he throws a fastball heat seeker. Gonzales middle inning guy low leverage. McGee in the 9th. Baez looked great in his usual set up 8th. So many quality bullpen arms it’s hard to sort out specific roles but it will be more about match ups than defined roles I predict.
    Again nice win and congrats.

  17. A couple of things. The picture at the beginning of the article is Nick Altrock. He also performed as a baseball clown, although not as prominently as Schacht or Patkin. Joc’s availability may depend on his family situation, and if he is not on the roster, my guess is that Matt Beaty will be. As for Lux, I think the consensus right now is that Taylor will be the regular 2nd baseman in the playoffs, and Gavin will not be on the roster. Turner suffered hamstring tightness yesterday, and was removed from the lineup for precautionary measures. On a sad note, NFL Hall of Famer, Gayle Sayers passed away today at the age of 77.

    1. I would suggest May throw more two seamers and save the 100 mph pitch for the high strike 3. He’s currently throwing 57% fastballs and I think throwing them as hard as he does may shorten his outing. He’s got closer stuff but you can’t throw like that for 7 innings, though guys used to …. back when men were men. I agree with Sutcliffe, May needs to become a pitcher not a thrower and he will eventually. Gonsolin, who is 3 years older, already knows this.

      I agree with Bear, 8 West titles is impressive but no championships is kinda weird. Well, one championship stolen, but, history has a strange way of forgetting facts like that. One thing I believe is true, when talking baseball dynasties throughout history, nobody outside of Georgia would list Atlanta’s run of West titles among the best.

  18. So Bear, I’m predicting 12 position players for post season for sure:
    Beaty, Kike, CT3 (at 2nd), Rios, JT, Seager, Muncy, Belli, Betts, Pollock, Barnes and Smith = 12
    15 pitchers with Wood
    So that leaves 1 spot if Wood stays.
    And that would be Joc.
    If Wood goes, which I think is unlikely, than 1 other spot opens for Lux, McKinstry or K-Bear.
    Let me know if I missed somebody.

    1. I do not think they will take 15 pitchers into the first round. No taxi squad the first round because USC is just down the road. If they get to the second round, they will probably keep 15 pitchers because the Taxi squad has to go into the bubble with the regular roster. Ruiz will no doubt at least be on the taxi squad. Emergency catcher in case Barnes or Smith go down. Joc’s status will be decided on whether his family problems, what ever they are, become an issue. Now, if Joc is not on there, Lux will be. Simply because he is a left handed hitter, and he has more experience than McKinstry. I think the taxi squad will be Ruiz, McKinstry, and Lux if Joc is on the playoff roster. The 2 pitchers will most likely be Alexander, and Sborz.

  20. Fun article, Bear! Who are the funniest players in today’s game, do you think? I got the feeling that Rich Hill was one.
    There must be a lot that goes on in the clubhouse that we don’t hear about. Baseball seems more santized now than it was back then.

    A few observations from yesterday’s game. What really impressed me about May is that he didn’t seem fazed, even though he didn’t have his best stuff. Even giving up the HR to the second batter he faced, or throwing a wild pitch to let in a run, didn’t seem to get to him. That’s impressive in a 22 year old. Next, Muncy seemed so relieved to hit that HR. The way that Doc was kidding around with him in the dugout afterwards, it was obvious just how messed up Muncy’s head is right now. I don’t think they’ll leave him off the roster. He could break out at any time. If he’s any semblance of his normal self, he’s too valuable to leave off the team. Finally, in the ridiculous 3 game wild card format, the team I fear is the Reds. We saw last year how a team with great pitching, Washington, could dominate a short playoff series. We’re playing well now, but anything can happen in a short series.

    1. Well, I think Kike is one of those fun guys. Wearing a banana suit in the dugout is pretty far out there. As far as personalities that stand out like some of the guys mentioned, I do not think that kind of humor is as prevalent as it once was. Not too long ago pitcher Ryan Dempster did a great Harry Carey impression. I think Kevin Pillar who is on Intentional Talk on the MLB Network is one of those guys who just has a wicked sense of humor. And of course Uecker is still around and broadcasting. But very few announcers and players show those kinds of comedic skills anymore.

      1. Bear, I agree on Hernandez. Didn’t Wood also wear styrafon (?) cups on his ears during the games? I am sure I saw pictures of that. It was funny.

  21. This is my prediction for the playoff roster, barring any more injuries.

    Smith, Muncy, Taylor, JT, Seager, Pollock, Cody, Mookie and Joc
    Bench – Barnes, Hernandez, Rios, Lux and Beaty

    Pitchers – Kershaw, Buehler, Gonsolin, May and Urias
    Jansen, McGee, Treinen, Kelly, Baez
    Floro, Gonzalez, Kolarek and Wood

    14 each.

  22. Tonight lineup
    RF Betts
    SS Seager
    3B Turner
    1B Muncy
    C Smith
    DH Pollock
    CF Bellinger
    LF Taylor
    2B Hernandez
    SP Kelly

    1. Urias will come out of the pen in preparation for doing that in the post season. So I would guess they have 3 lined up for the first round.

    2. i’d switch Kike and CT3 defensively personally. I think CT3 is the playoff 2nd baseman.
      I fully expected Urias to get this start to set up next week. I thought I heard he was scheduled for today? But if he pitches tomorrow that still works.

  23. Here are a few more classics. It ain’t nothing til I call it. Bill Klem.. ” who is this Baby Ruth, and what does she do? ” George Bernard Shaw, ” If you get three strikes there isn’t a lawyer in the world who can get you off” Bill Veeck, “Bob Gibson is the luckiest pitcher I ever saw, he always pitches when the other team does not score any runs” Tim McCarver, “The other teams could make trouble for us if they win” Yogi, Beethoven can’t be great because his picture ain’t on a bubblegum card”, Charles Schultz, “Trying to sneak a fastball past Aaron is like trying to sneak a sunrise past a rooster”, Joe Adcock, ” Well it took me 17 years in the majors to get 3,000 hits, and I did it in one afternoon on the golf course”, Hank Aaron”, ? We know we are better than this, but we can’t prove it”, Tony Gwynn. This ain’t like football, there aren’t any trick plays” Yogi, ” He looks like a greyhound, but he runs like a bus”. George Brett, ” Why does everyone stand and sing “Take me out to the ball game when they are already there? ” Larry Anderson, And finally this gem from Duke Snider, ” You know you are pitching well when the batters look as bad as you do at the plate” One more….today I walked into the clubhouse and there were 4 doctors, 3 therapists, and 3 trainers. When I broke in we had we had one trainer who carried a bottle of alcohol and by the 7th he had drank it. Lasorda

  24. Funny stuff today Bear. I have a couple of favorites to add:
    The best scene in Major League to me was subtle but just cracked me up. Uecker, as Harry Doyle, is broadcasting the Indians game one. Just after the introductions you can see him in the booth pouring up a big tumble of Jack Daniels. Before a pitch had been thrown, he was hitting the sauce.
    I also love Tim McCarver’s story about a mound visit the skipper signaled him to make with Gibson on the hill. McCarver didn’t want to go and hadn’t had to much ever as Gibson was a notorious finisher. Anyway, McCarver was sent out to buy some time. When he was nearly to the mound, Gibson turned and noticed Tim. Without any expression, Gibson said “what are you doing here”? Tim said nothing. Gibson than told Tim “hey, all you know about pitching is you can’t hit it. So get your ass back behind the plate”. Tim never said a word and the visit was over. Tim said he never went out again.
    I was in the minors when Max Patkin, The Clown Prince, did his performance 2 separate years. He just took over our clubhouse and bossed everybody around. He was really unfunny when not being the Clown. He was also one of the vulgar man I ever ran across and I’ve heard the best. He couldn’t put 5 words together without an “F” bomb. Maybe I just caught him on 2 bad nights.

    1. Most people are different when not in front of an audience. Although basically very proper when doing his show, Skelton supposedly had some very risque material he would only tell to his close friends. Jerry Lewis was known to be pretty difficult to work with. I have met a few country stars who were not as advertised either. But I wrote it off to the pressure of fame and just let it go. When I am onstage, it is almost impossible to be angry. Because of the music, and watching people have a great time, you cannot help but enjoy what you are doing. It is really hard to sing a ballad if you are pissed off. I had heard that story about McCarver and Gibson before. Who would not be scared of going out there and pulling that guy out of a game. And if I remember right, none of his managers were very big guys. Solly Hemus and Johnny Keane. Red Schoendienst also managed him,

    2. Good stuff you guys. I love these stories. Thanks.

      ps, Before I forget to mention it, I thought Floro was terrific yesterday.

  25. Mike Clevinger Exits Start With Apparent Injury (Perfect, all these stupid clowns)

    Padres right-hander Mike Clevinger threw a 1-2-3 first inning with two strikeouts against the Angels on Wednesday, but he departed after that for an undisclosed reason. The Padres were not planning on pulling Clevinger that soon in the game

    It’s worth noting that Clevinger had his previous start last Saturday pushed back because of bicep tightness, so this situation could be especially alarming news for the playoff-bound Padres. San Diego sent a haul to Cleveland for Clevinger at the Aug. 31 trade deadline, and the 29-year-old has since been highly effective over three starts. As a member of the Padres, Clevinger owns a 3.00 ERA with 17 strikeouts and three walks across 18 innings.

    Based on what he has done as a Padre (not to mention his performance with the Indians over the past couple seasons), Clevinger could be a major difference maker in the playoffs for San Diego. The Padres do boast two other front-end starters in Dinelson Lamet and Zach Davies, while Chris Paddack and Garrett Richards offer another pair of proven options, but they won’t be at their best if they have to enter the postseason without Clevinger.

    1. Read that just a little bit ago. I agree, Padres are upstarts, and not really as good an organization as the Dodgers.

  26. I’m reading this about last night’s game, ” After his home run, Seager told someone “fuck you, you didn’t give me a high five last time” as he was going into the dugout. And some think that he said that to Muncy in a joking tone, but he was in the waiting circle, so those words were for someone else. You can see the video on twitter

    https://twitter.com/ChadMoriyama/status/1308613570846842880

    1. Well that was interesting. Who was he talking to? Was he joking? I think someone should ask him what that was all about.

      Padres are good. I will not underestimate what they are capable of doing in the bizarre circumstances that are about to unfold. Maybe it goes exactly the way most experts think. I’m no expert but I expect some surprises.

  27. Pre-Game Pressers:

    Jake McGee attributes some of his success with the utilization of CleanFuego, a ball with a different weight distribution that helps with the hand placement on the ball. Connor McGuiness showed him the tool, and he plays catch with it every day. You can read up on CleanFuego at cleanfuego.com.

    Jake said it was pretty cool to get the last three outs for the team to win the Division.

    Doc said that Joe Kelly will start in place of Julio Urias. Joe will go one inning (or 3-4 batters). Joe will get two more opportunities to pitch this weekend against LAAA. Julio will be the bulk pitcher tonight, but Doc wants him to get the feel of coming into the game in relief. Tony Gonsolin and Dustin May could also come into a bulk relief role this weekend on their scheduled start dates. No decision has been made just yet. The third SP has not been decided.

    JT will go about 5-6 innings tonight at 3B and Edwin Rios will then come in for him.

    Doc fully expects Max to peak at the right time.

  28. Thanks for the update Jeff. That clears up my Urias question.
    Here was my semi-pro tentative pitching schedule to get ready for Wed. That I did a couple days ago. I wanted to compare to what actually happens.
    Tuesday – May (got that one but cheated)
    Wed – Urias – (will be bulk guy now)
    Thursday – Bullpen game working situational match ups. Gonsolin an inning or 2 and again Sunday.
    Friday – CK
    Saturday – Buehler
    Sunday – May / Gonsolin
    2 days off
    Wed – CK on 4 days rest
    Thursday – Buehler on 4 days rest
    Friday – Urias/May/Gonsulin all rested
    We’ll see how it plays out
    I did hear Orel speculate on a Johnny Wholestaff for game 1 of the playoffs. Dumbest statement all year to me.

    1. Makes sense. Why would you want that in game 3 if one of your best gets beat in game one? Kersh and Buehler, games 2-3. If they win the first two, Buehler is in line to start game one of the second round. Me, I would start Gonsolin or May in game one.

      1. Not me. If I have CK and Buehler at the top of my staff they’re going games 1&2. A loss in game one is a big, big deal in a 3 game series. It becomes all hands on deck if you lose game 1 like games 6 and 7 of the WS. If I’m going down I’m doing it with my top 2 guys. No offense to May and Gonsolin. You win these one at a time with your top guys. I’m not at all reinventing the wheel on this one. It certainly would be an interesting conversation point all winter if you lost with that strategy.

        1. Right now, judging the staff by what I have seen, I use Gonsolin in Game one with Kersh and Buehler set up for 2 and 3. If the season finished today they would play the Giants. But Philly and the Reds are right there behind them. I would not pitch Buehler until game three simply because he has not looked like the Buehler of last year. It would be all hands on deck for game three,

  29. You going to trust Johnny Allstaff in game 3? They have no other real confirmed good starter. I go for having an ace to fall back on. They had to pitch Darvish in game 7 of the World Series because they did not want to use Kersh on short rest. Bad choice.

  30. QUESTION1!!!
    What happens in determining the wild=card teams if a team has been unable to complete is complete 60 game schedule???

  31. I have NEVER liked Kelly. When I wrote a somewhat long post a week or so ago about the bullpen I said in the playoffs I hope Doc stays away from using Kelly or our playoff hopes can be eliminated quickly.

  33. Has anyone thought of using only our starters in the 3 game series.

    Game 1 Kershaw followed by 1 of our other starters not named Buehler.

    Game 2 Buehler followed by 1 of our starters not used in game 1.

    Game 3 if necessary the starter not used in games 1 and 2 followed by the 2nd starter in game 1.

    Just a thought.

    As I write this a Muncy bomb I hope he’s back.

    1. It worked so well using a starter instead of the relievers against the Nationals last year. Oh wait..
      ~
      Seems like a lot of over thinking and over managing to put together a flow chart that ends in failure.
      ~
      I wouldn’t let Kelly near any important moments. He was downright terrible last season and seems to have zero confidence in his pitches this year.

      1. Not that I’m disagreeing but last year Kershaw was horrible in the first inning of his starts. That should have told Doc to never use Kershaw in relief. That’s what killed us last year in the playoffs. Again I’m not disagreeing with you. I just thought I would put a thought out there to think about.

        I agree with you about Kelly obviously as I wrote about him 5 posts up.

        1. I think we agree Kershaw shouldn’t have gone out in the 8th. I do think all three of the young pitchers are capable of coming out of the pen. I’m not a big fan of the opener though.

  35. Julio with command and his change up working against righties can be ace like! He’s sooo close! Just in time!

  36. I don’t know why Doc wastes at bats on Hernandez. If he starts Hernandez in the playoffs he deserves a #FireDoc.

  39. That at bat was really important by Rios.

    Because if JT’s hamstring is going to be an ongoing issue, Rios WILL have to start at 3b. We need to know he can hit lefties.

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