It’s All About Chemistry!

I keep reading that the Dodgers are in the hunt for a starting pitcher and frankly, I do not believe it.  What I mean by that is I do not think they are “hell-bent-for-leather” to get another starter.  That’s not saying that they won’t do it if the right situation presents itself, but they are simply not going to overpay to get another starter.  I think AC said the same thing yesterday.

If it ever made sense to make a blockbuster deal at the trade deadline, this is the year, because the Dodgers are clearly one of the best teams in baseball.  However, it’s quite possible that they could win the World Series and not make a single move. They are THAT deep. Other than Yasiel Puig, whom his teammates “tolerate” because he has “toned down” his act, the clubhouse is very tight.  There is a lot of good chemistry on this club, so you have to be careful with any move that is made, because it could potentially affect the chemistry.

You make deals, not when you have to, but rather, when you want to… on your terms. Starting pitching is very important and the Dodgers have a horse in Clayton Kershaw, but beyond that there are injury questions.  Even Ray Charles can see that.  As good as Alex Wood has been, you have to wonder if he can stay healthy.  The same is true with Hyun-Jin Ryu, Kenta Maeda and Brandon McCarthy.  Then there is Scott Kazmir who allegedly is coming back in a week or three after being on the shelf all season.  I have the most confidence in Rich Hill, who appears to have his blister problems solved and is back in tune.  I think he will be a 6 or 7 inning pitcher the rest of the season. However, he also has an injury history.

Then there is also Brock Stewart, Ross Stripling (whom I have heard really sees himself as a starter, so much so that it might be messing with his head), Trevor Oaks and Scott Barlow.  Count ’em:

  1. Kershaw
  2. Hill
  3. Wood
  4. Maeda
  5. McCarthy
  6. Ryu
  7. Kazmir
  8. Stewart
  9. Oaks
  10. Barlow
  11. Stripling

That’s a plethora of starters any way you want to slice it.  I don’t care if they have a history of injuries.   I would make book that at least 6 of those pitchers will be healthy at any given moment, but you can’t help but wonder what would happen IF you had another “HORSE” to go with Clayton.  It was absolutely the right move to let Greinke walk – he used to be a horse, but now he’s just a pony.

The names we keep hearing are Justin Verlander, Gerrit Cole and Jose Quintana, but I don’t think the Dodgers would pull the string on another lefty, so I leave Quintana out of the discussion.  I don’t think FAZ wants to be that heavy on LH starters.  Justin Verlander is owed $56 million over the next two seasons and is clearly not the pitcher he once was, but maybe could be re-energized by changing leagues and playing for a contender. However, he is averaging 5.8 innings a start – I’m not sure that is an improvement.  I would not try that unless the cost was low and the Tigers paid half his salary.

Gerrit Cole is not having a great season, but is a RH pitcher who is 26 years old and would likely do well in LA, as he is from Newport Beach.  He is under team control until 2020.  He averages 6 innings a start and would slot well behind Clayton… but he would be expensive. Another guy I like is Lance Lynn (he’s from Indianapolis), but he is fresh off TJ Surgery and likely will need to keep his workload under 200 IP, so I would not think he is a possibility.  He will be a Free Agent next year and is 28 years old.

If the Dodgers were to trade for a Gerrit Cole, they could certainly afford to trade another starter or two or three.  Maeda, Ryu and Stripling could go to other teams for other assets.

WHAT IF:  The Dodgers were to trade Yadier Alvarez, Ross Stripling and prospects they get for Ryu and Maeda (I would think they could get two TOP 10 prospects for Maeda and Ryu) to the Pirates for Gerrit Cole and Felipe Rivero (OK, I can dream, can’t I?). Maybe it would take another prospect or two… I don’t know.  Rivero is to die for…

Look at this:


  1. Kershaw
  2. Cole
  3. Hill
  4. Wood
  5. McCarthy
  6. Kazmir (Pen)
  7. Stewart (Pen)
  8. Oaks (AAA)
  9. Barlow (AAA)

Rivero would really help the best pen in baseball get even better and Stewart becomes the long guy as does Kaz!

Of course, our resident JD has been campaigning for JD Martinez, who would look good in LF with Chris Taylor at 2B.  By the way, he only likes Martinez because he has JD ahead of his name while he has JD “after” his name.  So, sue me.  😉

  1. Taylor  2B
  2. Seager  SS
  3. Turner  3B
  4. Bellinger  1B
  5. Martinez  LF
  6. Grandal  C
  7. Pederson  CF
  8. Puig  RF

That’s a better lineup.  FAZ has a lot to figure out.  Shoot, think about this.

  • Trade Forsythe for a LH reliever or prospect (The Red Sox and Yanks need a 3B);
  • Call up Kyle Farmer; and
  • Play Barnes at 2B.  I’m telling you – he is  very good 2B. Farmer can be the backup Catcher.
  • It was just a couple of days ago that I said I was not worried about Forsythe and Taylor and what happened?  Forsythe was 4-4 and Taylor got on base three times as the leadoff hitter.
  • A lineup with Grandal, Barnes and Taylor is pretty dang good.
  • If the Dodgers have any inclination to do that, Forsythe could be traded easily.
  • The thing is:  CHEMISTRY!


The Dodgers are Ranked #2 in Power Rankings in MLB and Numberfire gives them a 99.9% chance of making the playoffs.  The Giants are given a 0.0% chance!

Rants & Raves

  • I thought this team was going to be very good, but I did not realize they would be Super Good.  The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
  • Alex Wood should start the All-Star Game.
  • Sergio Romo is nearing the end of his rope. “No Mo Ro Mo” – Copyright DodgerRick
  • Grant Dayton is simply OK, but not the guy he was last year.
  • Trayce Thompson is a real CF when Joc is on the bench.  He doesn’t run – he glides!
  • Full Minor League Report
  • It was nice to see Doc go after Andy Green.  Roberts pointed to Green and said “You and me.”  Set the tone Dave!

Austin “Freaking” Barnes.  Dee who?

Posted by Mark Timmons

We started LA Dodger Talk in 2001. This site is about giving another perspective outside of the average day-to-day reporting. We don't do game recaps or such things -- lots of sites do that well. I value sabermetrics, but don't think they are the "end-all-be-all.". This is where you should start your day as a Dodger Fan. Welcome! We'd like to hear your voice.

This article has 76 Comments

  1. Maybe guys like Forsythe don’t read Ladodgertalk, but they hear us talking about them… Bada-Boom – 4 for 4… I’ll keep coming with it’s someone every night with the glove or the bat helping us win a game… This is a team on a mission…
    Great to see Roberts getting a lil rumble going!!! “You and Me” a classic…

    1. I do not know if anyone else caught it, but when the Padres started to come out, McGwire was in the front and George Lombard immediately stepped in front of him. McGwire immediately stepped to the side. Nobody is going to take on George Lombard.

      1. I missed that AC but I did hear both Orel and Joe talk about the size of Bob Geren hands during the delay and he apparently isn’t anybody to mess with either.

      2. I would want nothing to do with McGuire. The time he grabbed both Matt Williams and Kirk Gibson (at the same time) was amazing.

  2. “Play Barnes at 2B. I’m telling you – he is very good 2B. Farmer can be the backup Catcher.”
    I can go along with this. Barnes is an athlete. Maybe Forsythe could bring a decent LHRP in return.

  3. I know he is only AA but Walker Buehler had another great start last night. Looks like he may be ready next year. I just can’t see us trading for a SP with the group we have now and the prospects that appear to be a year away. What would we do with all the pitchers? Perhaps we should field a split squad.
    Verdugo and Calhoun are machines. Seems that each of them has a hit or two each night. FAZ must have a plan, but I can’t figure out what to do with all the talent.

    1. Seems like FAZ must be on the lookout for a “quantity for quality” trade. The way this organization works, could be multiple lower ranked prospects for something along the lines of a Moncada, a top prospect, if something at the MLB level isn’t available. I would have thought it would have happened by now, but when you hold so many cards you can afford to wait for the right situation to present itself.
      I am really excited about 21 yr old Verdugo, 20 game hitting streak now with three more hits and a walk last night. Doesn’t seem like he has much more to prove at AAA. I think we will see him in September if not sooner.

      1. One of the reasons why nothing has happened just yet might be because there are too many teams in the AL that believe they have a shot at the playoffs and do not want to give up their better players just in case. Even the Cardinals and Pirates believe they have a shot at the NL Central. The buyers and sellers have not yet been totally identified. The sellers are going to wait until the market is fully open for business, and the bidding gets exaggerated.

  4. Yeah, We only need to think about it a couple seconds to know FAZ aint going to go for another starter unless “the right situation presents itself”. Think another few seconds and you know that goes for any deadline trades. In the two and half years FAZ has been in charge we should all be able to see by now, that FAZ only make moves on THEIR TERMS. What are their terms?
    Bluto said it best on the last thread:
    “The problem with “just going for it” and loading up for the stretch run in that the best team doesn’t always win.
    The MLB playoffs more than most sports (maybe not the NFL) are too prone to randomness, hot streaks, or freaky happenings.
    Better, in my opinion, to configure for continued high performance than focus on a year.”
    I think it’s possible, Bluto plagiarized that statement from “Chapter One” of the FAZ handbook.
    A lot of us have read, that FAZ isn’t looking for rentals, they are looking for CONTROLLABLE players, if they do trade from their treasure chest of prospects or MLB depth. I’ll bet the players they are considering also need to be nicely priced in addition to controllable. Can’t forget about the luxury tax (it’s in Chapter Two)!
    Seems to me, the FAZ terms really reduce the possibilities of a BIG trade, but you never know!
    In the meantime, we are at 54 and 28 and that makes for GOOD CHEMISTRY!!!!
    I read a comment on another board from someone claiming to be related to a Dodger coach. He said his relative (the coach) said, “The rumors regarding Puig not getting along with the rest of the players, is hugely overstated, a big nothing burger”. All is good in Dodgersland!
    Get better soon, Julio!

  5. Rant:
    Enough of Barnes playing second. Forsythe and Utley are already there. No room for Barnes.
    Taylor is the LFer when he is not playing second.
    Hernandez is the backup shortstop.
    Forsythe is the backup third baseman.
    Barnes should be more than the backup catcher, I agree. He needs to get 50% of the innings at catcher.
    Barnes can be used as a pinch hitter and then play 3rd or 2nd in the late innings to keep a backup catcher available.
    Hard to bring up Farmer mid season and expect him to fit in with the pitching staff.
    Dodgers are loaded at catcher throughout their system.
    As good as and as deep as the Dodgers are, they have a chance of adding Shohei Otani next year. If they do, they have pitchers to trade this winter.

  6. An argument can be made for no major moves…okay, even a very good argument. How about 53-28 to start. How about they are having fun and playing off each other very well. This team reminds me of the 2004 Red Sox (a lot). The Dodgers needs per the know-it-all pundits:
    1. A reliable #2
    2. Dominant LHRP
    3. RH Power Bat
    Reliable is a funny term. That doesn’t necessarily mean good. If you want a safe innings eater, then trade for Jeff Samardzija. Max Scherzer and Chris Sale are not going anywhere. If you want good, what is wrong with Kershaw/Wood. I know, I know…Wood is a health risk. And Kershaw isn’t? Maybe not as much, but Kersh has been known to go on the DL. I will match Kershaw/Wood against Scherzer/Strasburg and Kuechel/McCullers. And as far as reliable, Strasburg is anything but, and both Kuechel and McCullers have been on the DL this year. Kuechel still is, and is out at least until the AS Break.
    There are three dominant LHRP…Aroldis Chapman, Andrew Miller, and Felipe Rivero. Virtually no chance whatsoever of getting any of the three. Yes Mark, you are dreaming about Rivero. There are some other good ones like Justin Wilson, Brad Hand, Sean Doolittle, Taylor Rogers, and Scott Alexander. Rogers (Twins) and Alexander (KC) are needed for their respective teams’ playoff runs. I would like any of the first three. But maybe (just maybe) the Dodgers have a LHRP who could become dominant…Hyun-jin Ryu. He may not want to, but neither did Andrew Miller. Let’s see, a back of the rotation starter (maybe), or potentially a lock down reliever.
    I know of only two RH Power Bats that are being bandied about…J.D. Martinez and Marcell Ozuna. I really do not believe that the Marlins will move Ozuna until they have a new buyer who will buy off on Ozuna being traded. The Marlins value drops every day that Mattingly is the manager, and Loria cannot afford to damage his investment more by trading away his best player not tied to a $300M contract. I do not know the cost of Julio Daniel Martinez, but if not too much, I can see this being an option. But do they have to make a trade for Martinez? I do not believe it is essential to getting to and winning the WS, but it might help. I like the lineup Mark posted. There is not a hole anywhere in that lineup.
    If the Dodgers do go for a #2, let me give a reason for why Jose Quintana might be a fit. Everyone is pointing out that the Dodgers do not need another LHSP. The reasons why they might…Walker Buehler, Brock Stewart, Mitchell White, Trevor Oaks, Yadier Alveraz, A J Alexy, Dustin May, Scott Barlow, Imani Abdullah, Jordan Sheffield, Dennis Santana, Josh Sborz, Andy Sopko, Caleb Ferguson, Leo Crawford, Morgan Cooper (hopefully within the next two weeks). Only Julio in the LHSP column, and not until 2019 at the earliest.

    1. AC

      I agree we do need a reliable but good, number three pitcher, for our starting rotation, if we go to the post season this year.

      We are fine at one and two, with Wood and Kershaw.

      And that is why Hill must get his mojo soon, or I don’t know who will step up to be that number three, if that doesn’t happen.

      But I do know we have many inside options on this team, to be the number three, that we need.

      This is something that will work itself out, either by one of our current inside options stepping up, or from the front office, in a trade.

  7. Referring to Boxout’s report on Puig, did you see the Kenley Jansen interview by ESPN?
    Tell me about your relationship with Yasiel Puig.
    //I am telling you right now, the Yasiel Puig that everybody sees outside is not that. He is just a great guy; a fun guy [with a] great heart. That’s who he is. That’s his personality. He is still learning what’s right to do around here or what’s not right. He is just learning the culture of the United States, I feel. Sometimes, I feel like us as Latinos kind of complicates stuff a little bit. People from here kind of see it differently. And I feel like with Yasiel, it was the past, too, that a lot of stuff could have gone differently for him. Since the beginning, he could have been better; he could have worked harder. He could have [been more] disciplined.

    Now that we have other people around here, he is really well disciplined. Like I said, Yasiel is gifted. A talent like that, I never saw before. I am serious. I never saw Bo Jackson play, and I heard Bo Jackson was amazing. But for me, in my eyes, a talent like that, you can tell this kid is so gifted. The way how he plays the outfield. The arm he has; his hitting ability. He has so much in him that he just has to get to know himself to be on that other level. He is not there yet, but I hope one day he just gets it, and he will get to that level.//

    1. Hadn’t read that. Thanks!
      Puig can be retained through 2019 via arbitration. I have seen enough to extend, 26 yr old Puig through 2023, total six years, for $12M/yr, total $72M. Do it FAZ! Would Puig do it?
      That throw to third the other night was the clincher. Looked like the runner was only ten feet from the base when Puig let her fly!

  8. I fully want us to go get a right handed #2 guy , but i really really hope that it won’t cost us Walker Buehler! Man he is going to be the real thing. I’m so excited about his future. He’s a Zack Greinke type

    1. Bobby, I am with you 100% on Walker Buehler. I watched him last night on MiLB TV, and he just looked great. He will go 5, but the minute a runner gets on in his 6th inning, it is obvious that management does not want him to over do it, and he gets pulled. I am okay with them being careful, but that probably means he will probably not get a shot at the rotation come April 2018. By June/July he will undoubtedly get that opportunity. He is a long term top of the rotation type pitcher.
      Everyone wants a good #2 RHSP, but who? Sonny Gray? Gerrit Cole? Johnny Cueto? Justin Verlander? Yu Darvish? Those are really the only RHSP names being mentioned, and Cueto & Darvish are not controllable. I would not include Walker Buehler in any of those possible trades. So really we are looking for a mid-rotation starter better than McCarthy and Hill. We cannot force something that is not there.

  9. I like Barnes a lot, but I want him to continue to be our back up catcher, not our second baseman.

    We have plenty of players on this team that can play second.

    And really, there is almost to much depth at second, on this team, if that is possible!

    Because we almost have as many players on this team who can play second, then we have outfielders , with Ethier and Toles out.

    And since catching is such a demanding position on a player’s body, I want Grandal to get as much rest, as we can give him, to keep him healthy throughout the season.

    And so he will be healthy in the post season, because he hasn’t been healthy enough, to contribute to much offensively, in the last two post seasons.

    And by doing that for Grandal that is also giving Barnes more playing time, to continue to stay sharp.

    They are making sure our starting pitchers, are getting enough rest, to stay sharp and healthy, but our catchers, should also be rested, throughout the season too, as well as our bullpen pitchers.

  10. Before the 2016 season, Mark kept bringing up Austin Barnes this and Austin Barnes that. Now I liked Austin Barnes, but sometimes you just have to be disagreeable. I kept kidding Mark that no matter how much you talk about him, Austin Barnes is not the next Craig Biggio. Well I was right, Barnes will never be a HOF player like Biggio, but he is a lot better than many of us thought he would be, except maybe Mark. I am glad that FAZ did not trade him like I thought they should.
    Forsythe is a logical trade potential, and certainly Boston and NYY are possibilities. Neither team is going to jump on a Forsythe trade as long as Eduardo Nunez and Mike Moustakas might be available.
    I was having coffee with my Giants buddies this AM, wearing my Alex Wood jersey, and in comes a Giants Fan with his Orange & Black “DESTINY” T-Shirt telling me how arrogant and crazy I was wearing a Dodger jersey in this town (a Sacramento suburb). Never wanting to back down to obnoxious Giants fans, I laughed and asked him if DESTINY was last place for the Giants this year or for the next several. The fan got angry and my Giants buddies just laughed and told him, “Dude, if you can’t catch, don’t pitch”. It’s great being a Dodgers fan in this town (or any town)!

          1. I almost moved to Roseville in 1979, but just could not pull myself away from LA. I like it here. It is close enough to Tahoe that we can make day trips if we want to, and we love going to eat lunch in Truckee. But LA (San Fernando Valley) will always be my home. My wife and kids will never move back.

    1. AC
      I like the fact that Alex admitted that he over reacted last night, and that sapped, all of his energy,

      He seems like a pretty simple guy, but by reading that, he seems like he is very in touch, with himself.

      And that might help him in the post season!

      1. MJ, he is still a 26 year old kid that is trying to convince everyone else that he really is this good, when all he has to convince is himself. This is where Doc, Honey, and Kershaw need to pull him aside and tell him to let it go…you are better than that. Of course the 3 time CY and 1 time MVP has to not get upset when an opposing player walks in from the bullpen right when he wants to pitch. Sometimes stubborn competitiveness just takes over and common sense goes out the window.

        1. AC

          That last paragraph that you wrote, also sounds a lot like Kershaw, at times!

          Wood seems like such a good kid, so I hope he gets that Allstar invite!

          But I would prefer non of our pitchers pitching, but I know that won’t happen, and I know that that is kind of selfish to want, especially for Wood!

  11. I have been verbally accosted many times in SF wearing Dodger Gear, but I have learned how to talk to them in a persuasive manner:
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

      1. I like what Roberts was quoted to say, after that game.

        ” No I won’t be reaching out to Andy”


    1. Dino

      Turner’s and Agone’s reactions were funny in that background, when Roberts was expressing himself, in the dugout.

      And Corey had a funny cameo in the background too.

  13. It is becoming increasingly unlikely that the team makes a major deadline move. They are coming to a soft part of the schedule with lots of off days in July and the teams behind them are struggling. Barring a sweep to the Snakes (and they line up to face Kershaw and Wood) there is no need for disrupting the chemistry. Unless they can get a pitcher better than Hill or McCarthy as AC stated, a RH bat better than Thompson or a LHRP better than Dayton or Avilan they are pretty set as is. I guarantee they will make a small deal or 3 but probably nothing major unless it is just too good to pass up.

    Every starting pitcher Mark mentioned is under team control for next year and there is safety in numbers injury wise. Why mess with it? No need to rush the prospects or to make a dope fiend move. A playoff rotation of Kershaw, Wood, Hill and McCarthy looks pretty good and you could have Ryu and Maeda in the pen for long relief if anyone has a rough outing. They will be really strong next year as well if they do nothing. We don’t know what Ryu or Maeda or Kazmir will do if they don’t start so that could be the real reason someone is dealt.

    Forsythe has joined the party and Thompson has filled a role and along with the resurgence of Joc and the steady play of Puig and Barnes/Grandal this team is deep and dangerous beyond Seager, JT and Cody. Taylor and Kike give some flexibility and Utley and AGon the veteran leadership along with Kershaw. It would be nice to runaway with the division but sometimes it’s hard to turn it back on in the playoffs.

  14. I came across this lovely piece from a Padres Blog.
    I guess if you have the third worst team in baseball, this is all you got. Maybe Clayton Richard and the rest of the Madres should get mad at the FO and insist on a team that does not have 3 Rule 5 Draft players on their 25 man. You should read the comments. The fans want to drill Turner, and then have one of their “trucks” take out Grandal at the plate. Just pure class.

    1. I’m not going to waste the time, but someone could go there and post this:

      “You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I wager you couldn’t empty a boot of excrement were the instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won’t go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
      You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You’re a fool, an ignoramus.
      And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have to us who think and reason? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh.
      You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed , drooling meatslapper. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
      You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on.
      This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don’t have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half-baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us “normal” people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are “challenged” persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn’t have been “right”. Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
      You’re an idiot. A moron of the highest order. You’re so stupid it’s a wonder and a pity you can remember to breath. Intelligent ideas bounce off your head as if it were coated with teflon. Creative thoughts take alternate transportation in order to avoid even being in the same state as you. If you had an original thought it would die of loneliness before the hour was out. On an intelligence scale of 1 to 10 (10 corresponding to the highest attainable IQ) you’re rating is so far into negative numbers that one would need to travel into another quantum reality in order to even catch a distant glimpse of it.
      Your personality is that of a rabid Chihuahua intent on destroying its own tail. Your powers of observation are akin to those of the bird that keeps slamming into the picture window trying to get that other bird it keeps seeing. You are walking, talking proof that you don’t have to be sentient to survive, and that Barnum was thinking of you when he uttered his immortal phrase regarding the birth of a sucker. You are, at varying times, tedious, boring, and even occasionally earth shatteringly hilarious in your idiocy, routinely childish, moronic, pathetic, wretched, disgusting and pitiful.
      You are wholly without any redeeming social grace or value. If God ever decides to give the planet an enema you’d better run like the wind because anywhere you stand is a suitable place for The Insertion. There is no animal so disgusting, so vile that it deserves comparison to you, for even the lowest, dirtiest, most parasitic member of the animal kingdom fills an ecological niche. You fill no niche. To call you a parasite would be injurious and defamatory to the thousands of honest parasitic species. You are worse than vermin, for vermin do not pretend to be what it is not. You are truly human garbage. You are a fraudulent, lying, predatory charlatan. You are of less worth than a burnt-out light bulb. You will forever live in shame.
      You have nothing to say, and Godwin’s Law does not apply when writing about you. You are the anti-Midas, for all that you touch becomes valueless and unusable. Mothers gather their children close when you appear. You are an aberration, a corruption, and a boil that needs to be lanced. You are a poison in need of being vomited. You are a tooth so rotten it infects the whole body. You are sperm that should have been captured in a condom and flushed down a toilet. I don’t like you. I don’t like anybody who has as little respect for others as you do. Go away, you swine. You’re a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. Meaningful to no one, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts that sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.
      I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I wretch at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, and the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won’t have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are a waste of flesh. On a good day you’re a halfwit. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
      You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, study, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us “normal” people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. It just wouldn’t have been “right”. Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
      You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libellous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystrophic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, and socially-retarded. Shut up and go away lest you achieve the physical retribution your behaviour merits. Thank you for your kind attention to and expected cooperation in this matter.”

      1. Mark, you left out: I wouldn’t piss up his ass if his guts were on fire.
        Might as well go with the original words and not doctor them up to be PC. Its not like I thought that one up.

  15. You are showing off your vocabulary Mark!

    Any predictions on the All Star team? JT, Seager and Bellinger are all worthy and have carried the team so far on offense. Kershaw, Wood and Jansen deserve it as well. That’s 6 players from one team but a case can be made for all of them. I have mixed feelings about Bellinger in the HR Derby but he has a natural uppercut swing and hopefully he would do well and not get homer happy afterwards. Stanton is back to defend his title and the fans also want to see Aaron Judge and Bellinger put on a show.

      1. That’s funny, they both had epic fails! I think Cody will do well like Joc did in the HR Derby his rookie year, but it seemed to mess Joc up afterwards. Having Cody’s dad pitch to him would be a nice moment! In that park in Miami a lot of balls will fly out.

  16. I agree with you AC. We just need to sit tight at trading time. Unless something comes along that really makes sense. Winning the WS does not always go to the best team. The team streaking at the time usually wins it.

  17. I just looked at the OKC lineup for tonight’s game, and Kyle Farmer will be the starting SS. That should be fun.

      1. Why do you think he started tonight and got two hits in his 1st two ABs. You know he’s worried.

      2. Okay, Seager probably heard that Farmer had two hits as a SS. Now Seager is 3-3 with a HR, all against a LHP. Maybe Farmer should play SS every night.

  18. Mark, I did not see your post above on what you think of SD fans. I think you should apply for a position as Trump’s advisor for his tweets.

  19. Hill is pitching really well tonight, good command of his breaking ball. Kike makes a great catch in RF then Cory and JT hit back to back bombs. Forsythe’s 7th straight hit, a 2B to the gap chases Overton.


  21. Maybe I traded Forsythe too soon. Cody is in a slump, we will see if he makes a adjustment.



  24. Doesn’t look like we need to shop for a 2nd baseman. Also I would say we have found our #2, except we already have Kershaw and Wood, when Hill is on he is as good as anybody.
    I know AC said it couldn’t be done, but let’s get Rivero from the Pirates and order World Series tickets.


    1. It doesn’t offend anyone Dino, it’s just dang hard to read. So you are saying that when you unlock the caps, it won’t type? because all small print is way easier to read if you could get that CAPS turned off.
      If not send your email address to Mark to forward to me and I’ll find a way to get you fixed up with something that works better.

  26. Haven’t checked, but it seems like the Dodgers are doing much better against lefties this year.

    1. Bums,

      Here is where they were after the first half.
      #15 against LHP – .251 (increase from #30 and .214 in 2016)

      #11 WRISP/2 Outs – .247 (increase from #28 and .206 in 2016)

      #13 WRISP – .262 (increase from #23 and .250 in 2016)

      #16 BA – .253

      #5 Runs – 412

      #4 OBP – .340

      #5 OPS – .781

  27. Twenty wins out of 23 games. Not bad. Win today and 2 of 3 from Arizona. Kike made a great catch last night. Night before it was Puig. I love to watch Thompson run. He really does not run, he glides. It truly is next man up. Forsythe and Barnes are hot right now. Bellinger is struggling a little right now, but he will figure it out. They are just fun to watch. Turner is playing well and we do not even mention him.

    1. Wasn’t it just a couple weeks ago people were complaining about Roberts’ weird lineups with AAAA players?

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